Far beyond...

There’s a place far beyond words that have meaning, far beyond dictionary definitions, beyond adjectives that have been used so many times that don’t have a clear meaning anymore. There’s a place far beyond any other place you’ll ever know. Once someone gets into that place nothing, or no-one, can throw that person out. Not even the crows. Just if that certain person breaks the crystal would be thrown out by himself. But someone who has all the keys to this Crystal Palace would never do that, on purpose. That certain person who has all the keys to this Crystal Palace knows he has them, as he should also know he’s lucky, as lucky as the Palace is to have welcomed him in. Far beyond luck. Having all the keys to the Crystal Palace, and actually being in the Crystal Palace, means a lot of things and according to all these things that means I love and adore that person but it’s not something I can express just with three words because it’s far beyond words, far beyond “adore”, far beyond “love”. It’s ENERGY, it’s FREEDOM, it's LIFE.

…far beyond states of mind…

“Do you feel sad? Do you feel happy? How silly words they are! Sad, happy, limited adjectives that can’t really explain life; aren’t there any other states of mind without definition? Aren’t there states of mind beyond positive or negative words?” – “Psalm At Journey’s End”, Erik Fosnes Hansen.

I don’t think there are words to define this particular state of mind or feeling or whatever! that makes me feel so fucking alive.

"Back To You" - Bryan Adams

I've been down, I've been beat
I've been so tired that I could not speak
I've been so lost that I could not see
I wanted things that were out of reach
then I found you and you helped me through
and you showed me what to do
and that's why I'm coming back to you...

Like a star that guides a ship across the ocean
that's how your love will take me home back to you
And if I wish upon that star someday I'll be where you are
And I know that day is coming soon, I'm coming back to you.

You've been alone, but you did not show it
You've been in pain, but did not know it
Let me do what I needed to, you were there when I needed you
Might have let you down, might have messed you round
but you never changed your point of view
and that's why I'm coming back to you.

-"Back To You", Bryan Adams.

Simple Minds

... Live In The City Of Light

"Somewhere there is some place, that one million eyes can't see. And somewhere there is someone, who can see what I can see" - "Someone, Somewhere In Summertime", Simple Minds.

Waiting For Holly III

She follows a yellow leaves path... if you stare at them for a long while they talk to you, and tell you stories of other lives they have lived. One particular leaf stares at her. She can't really decipher the words but they sound good... it seems a nice story to remember and tell to a good friend of her sometime. It would be one of those stories that always start with "I remember once...". Basically, the bigger amount of 'I remember's' you say, the longer you've lived. And, of course, length or intensity of life has nothing to do with age!

She walks that yellow leaves path to school again, where everything looks the same. They stare at her, their eyes wonder why does a girl who studies Engineering sits in the cold marble stairs to write.

They don't know who's Holly. They wouldn't wait for her.

She likes walking alone, watching the shadows moving in the floor as she walks, staring at the reflections in the windows... she likes listening to the silence.

Waiting For Holly II

She never thought a person could change everything so much... or to that point. That's why even walking her way from home to school has changed... so much. She wants to meet Holly but instead she's meeting a great friend she met more than a year ago also by coincidence, one of those coincidences life has on offer. Picture life as a big shop, a shopping centre. But you walk the stores not knowing what they do sell. It's not the lights outside the shops what attracts you to go inside but your feet that step inside them.

She gets on a bus. There's never a point of running to get on a bus, it may start moving just when you reach the door and it closes in front of you... pretty much what life itself does... that's why there's no point in running anyway. But she feels the urge to run for some particular reason and she does it, and just because she wants to do that she feels awesomely free. There's a little boy crying on the bus, she doesn't know if little boys crying are a bigger mystery than little dogs barking.

Maybe a hat and a long denim coat make her look foreigner. Maybe not. Maybe it's because she bought them both the day before she was leaving to London and her life changed. Maybe not. Who decided where to put the bus stops?

There's a beautiful light-orange-blue-pink-purple sunset she'd love to see it from the Maremagnum... without taking any bus.

The city lights say it's night time now but in her eyes, and her head it's always day time... or let's say light time. Someone recently told her she shines... and she takes care to remember that every now and then. Great things do shine. Do her black nails change anything?

Too many mopeds, too many city lights. What if everything went dark for a second? Everything looks different at night. But why does that seems like the right thing to say? Why if people were asked to separate the universe in terms of right and wrong they would associate night with bad? She's not one of those people. She likes to believe she's different, just like everyone else... except from the fact that she enjoys it.

She needs no mp3 anymore, music is her head... magic music without notes... a melody that keeps her smiling. She's happy. Holly would like that song too.

Waiting For Holly I

Lightning? No! They were just testing the Christmas lights of the Diagonal's Corte Inglés. There were two Corte Inglés in the Diagonal but it was funny that one was known as the Diagonal's Corte Inglés and the other as the Fracesc Macià's Corte Inglés. I don't know if anyone knows who decided this should be this way. One gets the name of a whole street and the other of a square. Really there's nothing better or worse. It is. Simply it is.

Buses, mopeds, horns... in the end everything ends up having a frequency and you can evade from basically anything, making a bigger or smaller effort, to parallel realities, or perpendicular ones. And there are so many parallelisms that become perpendicular, and vice versa. Everything is just lines... like the lines she's reading and absent her from the quasi-periodic signal that one of the most important thoroughfare of the city of Barcelona constitute.

She thinks Holly Golightly is a nice girl, she could spend hours talking to her if she knew her... and if she knew her it would be thanks to any strange twist of fate, thanks to which she would stay in her life for a quite long time, even if they wouldn't know anything from each other for years. Because there's essentially no difference between one day and one year... they are just different departure and arrival points... but they are departures and arrival points no matter what. Time doesn't matter. You can go from Plaza Cataluña to Barceloneta by so many different ways... by bus, by short-distance trains, taking all the metro lines, going back and forth... but if you really want to go to Barceloneta, sooner or later, you will get there. You don't need to notify anyone of each of the stops you pass by.

She turns another page.

"Are you Cristina?" an unknown asks her. She smiles and says no. But she wonders who is Cristina, if she's waiting, if he's waiting for her, is she's got lost... and she also wonders if she looks like if she was waiting for someone, or something... maybe she's waiting for Holly. Deep down, or somehow, Destiny is who has introduced her to Holly. There are infinite crystals, points of view and perspectives... and it's amazing to realize how much everything can change. In a positive way. Always in a positive way.

As simple as...

7th August 1997. A message in a pretty old-fashioned message board threatening everyone with locking myself up in a room to listen to Wannabe non-stop. A Zaragoza's hotel hall. A post full of strange names in a message board. Choosing German. A Big Brother club with four members. An advertisement that finally gets published in a magazine after a year waiting. An invitation to an Oasis club. A Monday without English class. One mail sent to profile among many. One No Answer. An anular solar eclipse. A message of a mad who's moving to Barcelona. A HIM concert. A Computers class break before Television's break. A bus with an hour delay after seeing Guns N Roses. Me complaining because my bus seat was 61 instead of 30... and that's how you get to meet important people. And more to come... ;)