Feeling The Angel

If I should refer to one feeling I would choose this like if it was the only one, like if just this particular brigth spark could save me from any of Destiny's disruptions, never-ending searching. It etches itself in the memory like an unknown extension file, as unknown it is that just can be rescued by the same sound. I refer to this feeling because it really is the only one. Anything that requires such tremendous effort to be described precisely deserves to be lived and experienced forever. You can concentrate yourself infinitely in a picture, a fact, a place... and break it down into many different parts, analyse them with extreme care and come to a certain conclusion, to a succession of words that could evoke that which you observe. You can get so good at it and play the objective-reality-evoker down to absolute perfection. But you can spend all your life feeling this rush, this shot of energy, this infinite feeling and be unable to describe it. Moreover, you know that you will never have the necessary resources to come any close to that description, but it's so great that you live for (and maybe because of) it, so amazing that you search in each and every milimeter of reality you live the smallest glimmer of this feeling to make it all worthy. It's so extremely perfect, so studied, so real. Infinite are also the times I come back to this subject, the times I reflect on this matter and never come to any conclusion, I just reaffirm myself that this is the only thing that really exists and the only thing that I live for... and it's so unique that it means all. It's between the eyes that meet and stick in your mind, or those which don't; it's in the desired things that come true; in the expectations that make the world turn.

And the same amount of magic resides on discovering as it does on rediscovering. It's so feverish, delirious to know the meaning of something for the first time as it is to rediscover it much time later in a completely different place, or in the same one. There are quantities of energy, different, equal, similar... but it's energy what they provide, and that's the impossible definition. And that's the whole, that's the feeling I refer to when I think of something perfect, something that it's worthy living if infinite times, enjoy it and take pleasure in it again and again and never get tired. My greatest ambition is to accumulate moments like this, lots of them, infinite! to experiment each and any form or shape of existence that this vital energy has. After many years of research there is something that has remained and will remain there, here. Something that condenses the greatest quantity of factors that this vital energy contains. This music I listen to, this and all those I know, and the ones I will know.

There's also another feeling that condenses lots of vital energy but, in its most absolute and real form, does not depend just on me, and will never do. It's scarce, hard to find... because it's so difficult to find something that comes close to the perfection of music... but it does exist. The combination of both thing reaches tremendous levels of energy... but as music it's not dangerous at all this other fountain of energy could have terrible side effects that I live to avoid carefully... luckily enough, so far, my energetic fortune it's the most valuable thing I own, and thanks, and I hope for more, always more, because there's always something beyond. Distinguish, accept, value, enjoy. Remember. Live.

...now I'm not looking for absolution, or forgiveness for the things I do, but before you come to any conclusions try walking in my shoes... you'd stumble in my footsteps if you kept the same appointments I keep... - "Walking In My Shoes", Depeche Mode.

[Written watching (and maybe inspired by it too) Depeche Mode's Touring The Angel DVD][All the images: captures from the DVD]

...and from this day on I declare myself an absolute devotee of Depeche Mode .-